Riding home the sea

A love story

When they arrived in Alligator Point, Fla., it was raining. They scratched their seaside ceremony, and instead, Mary Bishop and Sharon Baldwin exchanged handwritten vows and gold wedding rings in their rented beach house.

Fourteen years ago, the same-sex couple who made national news last month began planning a Florida vacation. “Somehow or another, it became a wedding,” Sharon said.

“It was a wedding – it just wasn’t sanctioned by any government entity,” Mary said.

The couple planned the whole thing from 1,500 miles away. They were a little worried about how the wedding vendors would react. “You would think that two lesbians saying, ‘Hey, we need matching wedding bouquets,’ there might be some flak,” Sharon said. But “when we got there, [the florist] was opening the stargazer lilies just perfectly.”

The pair, along with another same-sex couple, Sue Barton and Gay Phillips, won their case, Bishop v. Oklahoma, which overturned Oklahoma’s ban on gay-marriage. The couples filed their lawsuit on Nov. 3, 2004, the day after 75 percent of Oklahoma voters approved the ban. Nearly a decade later, the case changed the civil rights landscape in our state, and the nation. By the time U.S. District Court Judge Terrence Kern issued his ruling, their case had become the longest pending marriage equality case in the country.

Mary and Sharon met at the copy desk at the Tulsa World. Sharon hadn’t dated much before. “I was fairly new to being gay,” she said of coming out in the early ’90s. Sparks didn’t immediately fly between them. They don’t remember officially coming out to one another. “We just got to know each other,” Sharon said.

Nearly 20 years later, Sharon and Mary still leave for their Tulsa World editing positions from the same house, in the same navy blue Acura, just one cell phone between them. “We shower separately though,” Sharon said.

“Maybe if we had a bigger shower,” Mary laughed. “She’s the other half of me.”

“The thing we most disagree about is the thermostat,” Sharon said.

When the pair met nearly 20 years ago, Mary wasn’t sure their newfound happiness would last.

“Young love is always exciting,” Mary said. “You’re way up high all the time and I was afraid.” But Sharon had a “deep-down feeling,” and she made Mary a promise. “I’ll still bring you coffee in bed,” she said. “We’re not going to stop being us. And we haven’t stopped being us.”

Since they won their case last month, the couple looks forward to the day the vows they took on March 26, 2000, will be recognized by the state and the nation.

On that rainy day, Mary read to Sharon, “Wear this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you, as powerful and as endless as the sea.”

Sharon read to Mary, “Wear this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you, as immeasurable as the grains of sand on the shore.”

Now the couple awaits the appeals process on their case. On April 17, oral arguments will be heard by the U.S. Tenth District Court of Appeals in Denver. In the meantime, the couple plans another ceremony, closer to home this time.