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Skip ‘Fifty Shades’ and fire up any of these smart, sexy erotic dramas

Now that Universal’s “Fifty Shades of Grey” has owned the box office with a record-breaking Valentine’s weekend, it’s safe to assume (and hilarious to think) that the erotic romance’s BDSM themes are providing grist for awkward dinner table conversations across middle America. But the movie only flirts with transgression; lest it offend its core demographic, the story has been filtered, sanitized and scrubbed of any excitement, spontaneity or edge. The danger and messiness of Christian Grey’s “singular tastes” have been rendered onscreen with an obsessive, clinical focus on not alienating the soccer moms. The resulting outcome is boring, sad and regressive. 

Joe O'Shansky reviews 'Fifty Shades of Grey'

On the other hand, a movie about BDSM is number one at the box office! Good job, America. But where to go from here? You’ve read the book and watched the movie. Your husband is sore and a little frightened, your kids are embarrassed and your pastor has stopped taking your prayer requests. Your life is falling apart, but you need your next fix. Allow me to introduce you to several movies that do it better than Christian Grey. 

1 // Belle de Jour, 1967, available to stream on HuluPlus

Spanish Surrealist Luis Bunuel’s first color film stars Catherine Deneuve as a repressed French housewife whose sexual frustration leads her to a Parisian brothel, where she takes up work as a daytime prostitute. Though tame by today’s standards (there’s very little onscreen sex or nudity) the movie’s sustained erotic charge puts E.L. James to shame. 

2 // Secretary, 2002, available for rent on iTunes and Google Play

“Secretary” is the smarter, funnier cousin to “Fifty Shades.” Maggie Gyllenhaal plays Lee, a fragile young woman whose search for work leads her to the law office of Edward Grey (James Spader, playing who I can only imagine is Christian Grey’s weird uncle). Edward quickly recognizes a kindred outsider in Lee, and soon the two are engaged in their own master-servant game. The parallels to “Fifty Shades” run strong, but director Steven Shainberg and screenwriter Erin Cressida Wilson (working from a short story by Mary Gaitskill) treat the characters like human beings, not objects of fantasy.

3 // Last Tango in Paris, 1972 available for rent on iTunes and Google Play

Marlon Brando and Maria Schneider play damaged souls brought together by a mutual need for intimacy in Bernardo Bertolucci’s controversial X-rated classic. Paul (Brando) and Jeanne (Schneider) are strangers who, while apartment hunting one day, meet in an empty Paris loft and have rough, spontaneous sex. The tryst turns into an affair. Paul—grieving the recent suicide of his wife—dictates the rules of engagement: they must remain anonymous and refrain from sharing anything personal about themselves (including their names) with each other. In her most famous review, film criticism goddess Pauline Kael celebrated the film’s release as a historic event that would change the face of cinema. Unfortunately, she was only half-right. The movie introduced complicated, dark sexuality to film’s mainstream, but its successors have rarely treated the subject with the same level of respect or intelligence (See: “Fifty Shades of Grey”).

4 // Nymphomaniac, 2014 available for streaming on Netflix 

Seasoned provocateur Lars von Trier (“Antichrist”) tells the story of Jo (played at different ages by Stacy Martin and Charlotte Gainsbourg), a self-confessed sex addict whose needs grow more complicated with age. With a 5-hour runtime (the movie is split into two volumes), von Trier gives himself ample opportunity to explore the nooks and crannies of Jo’s psyche. She approaches sex like a buffet, trying a little of everything, and the camera never flinches or judges. This is explicit, heavy stuff tempered by a thoughtful, nuanced approach to female sexual agency and anchored by Gainsbourg’s absolutely fearless performance. 

5 // Anatomy of Hell, 2004 DVD purchase available on Amazon

In another life, French filmmaker Catherine Breillat might have been a women’s studies professor. Her films are ideologically dense, and rich with metaphor and characters who act more as philosophical archetypes than human beings. Based on Breillat’s own novel “Pornocracy,” was largely derided by critics upon release as joyless art porn. That’s pretty much what it is, but it’s also beautifully shot, and Breillat conveys her heady ideas about gender conflict with clarity and confidence. The movie is by design a body horror film that dares viewers to look away. 

An unnamed woman (Amira Casar) attempts suicide at a gay nightclub but is saved by an unnamed man (Rocco Siffredi). As a corollary to her existential suffering, the Woman hires the Man to spend several nights at her apartment observing her in her most intimate private moments. The most basic version of Breillat’s thesis is that misogyny is rooted in men’s fear of the female anatomy, and she uses her camera to test the point—exploring the terrain of Casar’s nether regions in long, unbroken takes. The escalation between the two characters from observation to interaction culminates in one of the most beautifully nauseating moments I’ve ever witnessed on film, when the Man and Woman share a cup of tea brewed from Casar’s actual used tampon. Understandably, most people won’t have the stomach for “Anatomy of Hell,” and I can’t blame them. But for the most adventurous viewers, it’s a memorable, challenging experience.

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