Bottom line: Parades and primaries

The anti-"Holiday" crusade continues, and some surprising upsets shake up the election picture in Oklahoma and in Tulsa.

Christmas in July
Tulsa’s warring tinseled troops announced a cease-fire late last month and finally managed to come up with a single, unified Christmas parade. 

The two factions have argued over the annual parade’s name since 2011, when the decades-old downtown parade was renamed the Holiday Parade of Lights. The same night, at the same time, the Tulsa Christmas Parade rolled through the Tulsa Hills Shopping Center. 

The group recently hugged it out and agreed on the most unsexy parade name in the history of parade names. Forget the simplicity of the “Tulsa Christmas Parade” or the whimsical-sounding “Holiday Parade of Lights.” Parade organizers added a soupcon of garbage, the word “Christmas,” and some clunk to name the glamorous, new: American Waste Control Tulsa Christmas Parade.

Bottomline: In July, it’s hard to imagine lining up in the streets, hatted and gloved, shivering and cheering, on Dec. 13 for this new parade of compromise and unity. I secretly hope Santa will roll through the streets of downtown in a trash can – or a recycling bin, since I’d bet he’s fairly progressive – wheeled by garbage elves. Happy American Waste Control Christmas, Tulsa!

The definition of insanity
In the June 24 primary election, the state congressional incumbents beat their challengers without breaking a sweat. 

Because, insanity. As in, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

There were a few upsets, though. Here are the highlights:

• Paula Sophia, a challenger for the primarily Democratic north Oklahoma City District 88, is angling to make history as Oklahoma’s first transgender House Representative. Sophia, a Desert Storm Army veteran, already made Oklahoma City history as the first transgender police officer. Now, she will face John Dunnington, a businessman who garnered the most votes in the race but not enough to secure the seat, in the Aug. 26 runoff election. There were no Republican candidates in this race, so it’s down to Sophia or Dunnington.

• The highest-profile contest of the primary was the fight for the GOP nomination for Sen. Tom Coburn’s unexpired term in the U.S. Senate. In a total upset, James Lankford beat out charming Tea Party favorite T.W. Shannon for the GOP nom. Polls showed the two in a dead heat going into the primaries, but Lankford pulled out a substantial win (56 percent of the vote versus Shannon’s 36 percent). 

Conspiracy theories abound as to how Lankford beat Shannon, who spent $1.7 million and garnered big, national endorsements from Sarah Palin and Sen. Ted Cruz. Shannon, the youngest-ever speaker of the Oklahoma State House, is half-black, half-Chickasaw. Was race a factor? Did Lankford win on Coburn’s quiet endorsement? God and the Tea Party only know.

• The primaries also delivered another heaping dose of stuff we love to hate: that Kern brand of crazy. Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern’s husband, Steve Kern, earned enough votes to face off against Ervin Yen in the August runoff for State Senate District 40 seat. The Republican winner will go head-to-head with the Democratic challenger. It’s a pretty red district, and the winner of the Republican runoff will likely land the seat. 

Because one Kern is never enough.

• On the Tulsa front, incumbent Blake Ewing beat his three Republican challengers in a landslide. He wins another term as District 4’s outspoken councilor and all the Internets for his future blog posts.

In District 7, incumbent Arianna Moore, who was notably quiet and seemingly unengaged during her short tenure on the council, was trounced at the polls by Anna America (yes, that’s her real name), a local volunteer and former Kathy Taylor re-election campaign manager. Tulsa holds nonpartisan races, so all political stripes are thrown in the kettle, and winners are decided without labels.

• Janet Barresi was hoisted on her own petard – and told to take her Common Core with her – as Tulsa’s Joy Hofmeister easily won the GOP nomination for State Superintendent on a platform of STOP WITH THE TESTING ALREADY. Common Core was an albatross around Barresi’s neck, and it dragged her down to a third place finish behind a pretty much unknown Brian Kelly.

Bottomline: Mary Fallin won the GOP nomination, and she’s on a fast track to re-election. Jim Inhofe, too. Same with, well, almost every incumbent. 

By either not voting or not holding their feet to the fire at election time, we’re giving these politicians a free pass to continue to disappoint us in those hallowed halls of the State Capitol and Congress. It’s the definition of insanity. Nothing’s going to change unless you change it. So, get out there and vote next time, wouldja?