Porch panache

Or, how to stylishly spy on your neighbors

I’ve always been like that character from Bewitched, Gladys Kravitz, who would keep creepy-close watch on her neighbors. 

Blasphemous as it sounds, Ms. Kravitz didn’t have her snooping down just right. Peering through curtains with binoculars is suspect, but you know what’s not? Sitting on your front porch, sipping a spiked lemonade, and (seemingly) watching traffic.

Spying on your possibly innocent neighbors isn’t the only reason to have a decent front-stoop set-up, but honestly, it’s a valid one. People do weird stuff. You’ll want to keep tabs on what shenanigans might be happening next door. At the very least, you may actually learn your neighbors’ names, be able to know if a thief is at your neighbors’ house, or not be afraid to ask for an extra egg or a cup of milk if you run out while baking.

Your front porch should be an extension of your home and reflect your personality. It’s the place you sit to look at mail, take a phone call, talk with friends, and survey your front yard.

Let’s talk about the important elements of a good front porch:

Seating. You’ll want at least a spot for yourself. I like to have company over, so as many chairs as could fit on my porch without looking crowded was my goal. I’ve been through three sets of patio furniture to find just the right one. Comfort is very important to me, too; I like to lean back and settle in. I’m also on the eternal hunt to pair natural with modern. I’ve currently settled on a pair of vintage butterfly chairs with mesh covers and a bamboo lounge chair. I’m nuts over the bamboo fella. I can sense he’s lived a full life and is happy to retire to helping me leer at passersbys. 

Patio pieces really give you an opportunity to play with materials you may not use indoors. Bamboo, wrought iron, plastics, maybe wicker—these are what outside seating dreams are made of.

Plants. Your porch needs plants. Porch plants provide important visual transition from outside to indoors. You’re welcome to keep it simple or overdo it according to your fancy, but you must have a plant of some sort. 

May I suggest various heights and coordinating pots? I planted succulents for my patio because they require very little care, and when the cold weather hits, my succulent friends get to come inside and keep me company. Succulents mean never having to say goodbye.

Cocktail, book, phone. Sometimes I really just want to enjoy my patio and be at one with nature, all on my own. Read: I don’t want to small talk. This isn’t always possible because sitting on your porch can seem like an open invitation for walk-up visitors. The best way to avoid talking to people is to have stage business—a phone or book to focus on. Maybe a dog who could need to be taken to the backyard at any necessary moment. And when all else fails, have a cocktail handy. You’ll at least get to sip on it if you get trapped.

A note on concrete animals and statues: Brass animals live indoors, concrete ones live outdoors. You’ll want to play this one carefully. Pick simply designed animals. Limit your number to under three, or perhaps carefully sneak them into your front beds. It can be hard to express your personality through front-porch decorating without looking crazy. Animal statues really flirt with the line, so it’s your risk to take, a risk that’s brought me secret pleasure beyond measure. (Live a little! Put a concrete dog on your walkway!) At present I have a concrete squirrel, St. Francis, and strange bunny tastefully on display. 

Love your front porch? Share photos with us on Instagram. Use the hashtag #tulsavoicehome. 

Editor’s note: A version of this article first appeared on TheNoshery.com, a food and lifestyle blog with Tulsa roots.