Festi-drinking

Me telling you how to do something, doesn’t mean that you should

Festival season is about to be in full swing and—unless you’re attending a beer or wine festival—the drink selection will likely leave something to be desired. I’m not asking for a DIY Bloody Mary bar or bottomless mimosas, just a simple way to enjoy a slightly better drink while listening to live music. Certainly, if one is able to legally fill their quart-sized plastic zipper bag full of mini bottles and pass through the TSA, there is a way to elevate the outdoor drinking experience at a festival—it just requires some creativity. 

While I can’t divulge the secret to how I personally sip cocktails wherever I please, I can offer a few suggestions as to how I hypothetically would. First, skip the known techniques: the “wine rack” bra, the flask disguised as binoculars, fake shampoo bottles, etc. These are the ways of amateurs, and amateurs don’t make it beyond the entrance to enjoy the spoils of victory. Pros hide in plain sight. To do this, pre-mix your ingredients, or, if you’re feeling adventurous, bottle a cocktail. 

First off, avoid glass bottles. That’s the fastest route toward confiscation. Second, prepare a recipe that works well with the ingredients that will be available—like a shandy, which is essentially beer and lemonade. There are different regional shandy variations, but I’d suggest not putting too much thought into it and making a blackberry-lemon syrup:

Combine two cups of blackberries, two cups of sugar, one cup of water, and the zest and juice of three lemons in a blender. Blend, then pour into saucepan and simmer for 10 minutes. Strain and bottle. Once you’re at the venue with a cheap beer in hand, simply take a swig of the beer then add an ounce of the syrup. This syrup can even be combined with vodka or gin and then topped with lemon-lime soda or club soda.  

If you prefer to bottle a cocktail, ones without carbonation or fresh juices, like the classic Negroni, work best. For five Negroni servings:

Combine five ounces each of gin, Campari, and sweet vermouth, 3.75 ounces of water, and 10 dashes of orange bitters. This is just enough to fit in a 20-ounce bottle. 

If anyone asks you where you got the idea, say “the Internet.”

For more from Andrew, read his piece on The Chalkboard’s spring cocktail menu.