31 days of horror - or something

The Voice’s resident genre nerds discuss October viewing rituals

Joe: I’m a hypocrite. Whenever I’m asked what my favorite holiday is, I say (without a hint of hesitation) that it’s Halloween. And then, every year, when it comes time to get in the spirit, I wind up doing nothing. No parties, no costumes, no decorations, and sure-as-shit no trick-or-treating.

Then I’ll ruefully vow to do something next year. Last time, I started saving issues of the Tulsa World to make Michael Fassbender’s papier-mâché head from the 2014 comedy “Frank.” They’re still under my desk.

So this year, I took a page from movie blogger Brian Collins’ now defunct Horror Movie A Day column. He watched and reviewed a horror movie every day. The dude kept this up for five years. I’m halfway through the month (not even writing about the films) and I’m already three days behind. I have no idea how he pulled it off without missing a day. But I’m committed to seeing at least 31 movies by the end of October. It’s quite literally the least I could do for my professed favorite holiday.

My friend and Voice colleague, Joshua Kline, joined me on this bloody endeavor. And I’ve got to ask: Are you already slacking, too?

Josh: I am already slacking, but it’s not for lack of trying. I tried to frontload the first few weeks with at least two movies a day, so I have a little bit of credit I’m coasting on this week, if that even counts.

I set a rule for myself this year that I wouldn’t watch anything I’ve seen in the past decade, which bars most of the go-to classics. So I’m rediscovering a lot of movies I saw in high school and college along with some that I missed the first time around—“Night of the Demons,” “Basket Case,” the original “Maniac”—and a few great new releases like “Goodnight Mommy” and “The Final Girls.”

Joe: Slacker. I didn’t want to put any rules on myself. Plus, my definition of horror is somewhat amorphous. The film that kicked it all off for me this month was “Prometheus,” which—though it’s the prequel to one of my favorite horror films of all time (“Alien”)—only seems to remember it’s a horror movie in the last act. A gooey fright-fest wrapped in a sci-fi fable. Another was “Silence of the Lambs,” which is a horror movie within a flawless police procedural. Strictly speaking, those aren’t straight horror movies. Sometimes I just want to watch my favorite things.

But I have definitely seen some new (at least to me) films worth evangelizing alongside the classics. The sleep paralysis documentary “The Nightmare” was the unlikeliest scary movie of the year. Being beholden to what our minds tell us is real should frighten anyone. The brutal and well-staged “We Are Still Here” is pretty great. I’d recommend “Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People” to anyone reading this.

In the horror genre, there’s a lot to love. Even when a movie sucks. Anything you’ve seen that’s so bad it’s good? Or just plain bad?

Josh: “Basket Case” is so bad, but sooo good. It’s about conjoined twin brothers who were separated against their will. One is a physically normal guy, the other is a literal blob of flesh that lives in a basket. Together, they go after the doctor who performed the surgery. It’s insane. Gory, hilarious, campy and extremely un-PC. It was shot on 16mm in New York City in the early ‘80s, so it’s got that dirty, porny, lived-in feeling from the era that elevates the tone and heightens the horror. Highly recommended.

I also watched a good portion of Michael Mann’s “The Keep.” Which is, sadly, just plain bad. Great cinematography, great actors, very boring execution. I fell asleep.

Joe: #ScottGlenn4Lyfe! Though there is a fine line between establishing a slow burn tension and boring the shit out of an audience. One of the things I love about horror is that it can fold in so many other elements. Action, comedy, even romance (or bromance—looking at you, “Shaun of the Dead”). But even more than that, horror can get away with being bad like no other genre. Someone once said, “Comedy done badly is horror. And horror done badly is comedy.” Which one of those choices sounds more attractive? I’ll take a bad horror movie every time.

Even something like Peter Hyams’ 1997 creature feature, “The Relic,” which is by no means a good movie (pro tip: four credited screenwriters is never a hopeful sign). Its plotting is confused. The characters are shallow archetypes.And the dialogue is made even more laughable by Tom Sizemore’s coked-out performance and Penelope Anne Miller’s complete lack of one—though at least they made her look a lot like Dana Scully. Just about every choice in that film is a bad one, yet it’s still a masterpiece compared to something like “Cop Out,” the Kevin Smith “comedy” that made me realize the universe is an impassive, eternal void—and that life is meaningless.

Josh: You’re right, “bad” is an extremely fluid word when it comes to horror. One man’s trash is another man’s “Street Trash.” You have to have a certain sensibility to really embrace the horror genre for reasons other than the visceral thrill, which I think is what the casual consumer is always looking for—the jump-scares, the gore, the boobs. True connoisseurs of the genre obviously appreciate those base elements, but they’re more anthropologists than thrill seekers, I think.

There’s also a religious fervor, an adherence to tradition and ritual, that’s unique to the genre. You’d never pack out the Circle for an all-night marathon of westerns, or even comedies.

Joe: Exactly. True horror nerds are like metal-heads. Singularly devoted to the form and equally suspicious when what they love becomes too popular. An underground mentality—those who need no holiday excuse to gleefully dive into mayhem every day of the year. Happy Halloween, Tulsa. 

For more of Joe and Joshua, read their 2014 Halloween flick picks.