Where's the grease?

Joe braves 'The Greasy Strangler' so you don't have to

Not unlike an episode of “24,” the following review occurred in real time. Many spoilers ahead.

0:30—We open on the very out-of-shape, speedo-wearing, thirtysomething Braydon (Sky Elobar of “The Kroll Show”) delivering a morning cup coffee to his equally au natural father, Big Ronnie (Michael St. Michaels). Dad brags about being the notorious serial killer, Greasy Strangler, then promptly complains that there’s not enough grease in his coffee. Foreshadowing.

3:30—Ronnie and Braydon make their living leading walking tours of famous, derelict L.A. discos. Among the tour group, Braydon meets a pear-shaped weirdo named Janet (Elizabeth De Razzo) who is inexplicably hot for him.

5:15—At home again, Braydon cooks a disgusting sausage dinner for Ronnie. They’re both wearing speedos, though Pops sports the banana hammock variety, to impressive effect. They get into an argument about the food (not enough grease, always). Ronnie threatens to send Braydon back to his mother, who left them years ago for a stone-cold player named Ricky Prickles.

8:20—The stereotypical Indian guy can’t pronounce “potato” properly. He’s laughing about it with a couple of fellers until, out of nowhere, the Greasy Strangler (obviously Ronnie, buck naked and covered in grease) punches through one dude’s face. Since he’s known for strangling, he strangles the Indian guy, with whom he’d gotten into an argument earlier.

12:30—Ronnie walks through a car wash to clean off the grease after he kills, triumphantly emerging with a penis that looks like a 10-inch, uncircumcised, baked sweet potato. He’s got some kind of understanding with the blind owner of the car wash, who already suspects that he might be the Strangler. Cut to: Braydon bringing Ronnie his naked morning coffee. He earnestly asks his dad for advice about his upcoming date with Janet. Ronnie rolls onto his back like a hairy armadillo and farts in Ronnie’s face. This is beginning to take on a weird Lukas Moodysson meets John Waters vibe that should probably be dubbed in Swedish.

16:45—Ronnie and Janet are on their date. The standard getting to know you stuff. How his mom left them for Ricky Prickles, on whom Ronnie had a crush, before he was molested by him. She’s smitten. Sweet and repulsive, this scene mines some new substrata of anti-comedy.

20:30—Ronnie is on the prowl. He meets a hot dog vendor who looks exactly like Harry Shearer. Ronnie wants extra grease on his dog, illustrated to nauseating effect. Unhappy with the customer service, he later catches up with the vendor and strangles him on the toilet until his eyeballs pop out. A lot of toilet-centric gags, so far. A writer might call it “scatological.”

31:00—Braydon and Janet have sex. It’s awkward, weird, and mercifully brief (thank God; my mom's name is also Janet).

35:30—Ronnie decides to steal Janet from Braydon. Cue an utterly gross, grapefruit-based mating ritual. Ronnie lays on even more charm by walking into the bathroom naked to watch Janet pee. This also introduces what I believe to be the central conflict of the film—an Oedipal battle for the hand of Braydon’s frumpy lady love.

38:15—Greasy Strangler, aka Ronnie, strikes again, strangling Braydon’s pig-nosed friend, who oddly enjoys it. Did I mention pig-nose guy? Shit. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. He’s just a means to another repellant, gross-out kill, plus another shot of Ronnie’s unnerving junk.

44:20—Ronnie coerces Braydon into letting him date Janet, threatening to evict him otherwise. On their date, Ronnie relates an anecdote involving bukakke and Michael Jackson. Or something. It’s a touching scene, though the front of Ronnie’s pants are painted with an artist’s rendition of his ancient, leathern manhammer. In case you still wondered what kind of guy he is.

45:15—Braydon is predictably jealous. “Is my dad a smoothie? Did he get smooth on you?” He says this with all the conviction of a nerd who just got sand kicked in his face. But when they discover their pig-nosed friend has been murdered, Ronnie vows to find and kill the Greasy Strangler, and prove his worth to Janet.

49:30—Braydon has gross phone sex with Janet. I’m going for a refill on the bourbon. This film inspires, nay, requires a certain level of shitfaced to fully appreciate.

56:30—Ronnie engages in some greasylingus with Janet, cuckolding his crying son for good measure. Grease in this movie is what the Spice is to “Dune.” It must flow—channeled through a Tim and Eric movie directed by Lars von Trier, if he suddenly developed a noticeable sense of humor.

60:15—Father and son fight for five minutes, but Ronnie’s already won. He’s got the girl and makes the most of her.

67:20—Braydon, down but not out, confesses his love to Janet. She falls for him (again). I’m thinking this will upset Ronnie/The Greasy Strangler. It does, so he kills the blind car wash guy who was onto him the whole time.

75:10—Morons Braydon and Janet finally realize Ronnie is The Greasy Strangler. Which, remember, he admitted in the first scene. Confrontation ensues, but Ronnie brings the hammer down, evicting them both. The emotional conflicts of this film charm, baffle, and repulse. Often all at once.

85:35—As if by a miracle, this beast ends with a crass, yet sincere and emotionally rewarding denouement, the absurdism of which rivals the giddy highs of any Takashi Miike flick.

87:50— I love it. Spoiler alert: You probably won't.

"The Greasy Strangler" is now available On Demand and through various streaming platforms.

For more from Joe, read his Halloween playlist of extreme horror films.